Hitman: GO? Hitman: No

It all began one misty November morning back in the year 2000. I was 14. I didn’t have a fancy, super powerful PC; my gaming was still purely console based at this point. A friend and I had an arrangement where we’d go to each other’s houses every Monday after school and play video games. This started back when we were about 9 and then carried on even after us separating to go to different high schools.

One day, my friend told me his Dad had gotten a new game for the PC called Hitman. In hindsight, this was probably not the sort of thing that two young, impressionable 14yr old boys should have been playing, but I turned out fine in the end, I think… I certainly haven’t considered having a barcode tattooed at the base of my skull. Mostly because I’m a wuss and am terrified of needles.

Anyhoo. The rest, they say, is history. I have enjoyed the Hitman franchise ever since. I even enjoyed the first movie to an extent (to date, I haven’t actually seen the second one so can’t comment). It is actually a little known fact that myself and Jon (Pixel Leader, or Commander, or Daddy, or whatever nom-de-guerre he’s operating under currently) enjoy a friendly rivalry on Hitman: Absolution on the Xbox 360. I say friendly, and I say rivalry, but in actuality I can’t even come close to his scores and I hate him for it.

Imagine, then, my excitement when Jon offered me a copy of the latest spin-off game, Hitman: GO in its newly found lease of life on the PS4.

Hitman Go2
It’s not lying. They do get quite tricky.

Hitman: GO was initially released back in April 2014 as an app game for Apple devices and reaching the market for the superior Android devices in June of the same year (What? Fight me!). The game was then made Windows phone compatible a year later and now, almost a year after that, it has been re-tweaked for PS4 and Vita, if anyone out there still owns/uses a Vita… Anyone?

Now imagine my disappointment when I do a spot of research into the game and then play it to find that I have turned my delightful, big, HD wonder TV into a glorified tablet with what is on its screen before me. The graphics (while never the primary selling point for any game, or rather shouldn’t be) are blocky, simplistic and minimal; there is very little in the way of actual animation and there isn’t a huge amount of depth to be found whatsoever.

Hitman Go3
They do look nice, but I want proper Hitman, not Subbuteo: Assassin Edition.

This is not to say that the game is not without its charms. Not in the least. H:G is a very satisfying puzzle game with challenges to be beaten and a learning curve that, actually, one would come to expect from a Hitman game. However, it just doesn’t feel right. As an app game on a device I can definitely understand the appeal of this game, but on something as powerful as a modern day gaming console such as the PS4 it’s almost an embarassment.

It’s safe to say that I will probably give this one a miss for the remainder and just ride the waves of hype and keen until the new Hitman game comes out later this year.

Until then, shave my head and call me Agent 47!

Or, y’know, Craig is fine too…

Hitman: Go is developed by Square Enix and is available for purchase today, 23/02/2016, on PS4 and PSVita for £6.49 (20% discount for PS Plus subscribers) or for £3.99 on smart devices.

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